The Can

Alright the gang is getting back together and we’re about to stir up some trouble in old Denver.  You might not hear from me for awhile.

That’s us tearing up Vegas during Christmas.  This picture was taken immediately following us popping open a bottle of bubbly and downing it in the street.  We are so fun. 

That’s us after we robbed a bank.  We were so excited.  My brother has way bigger lips than I do.  Lucky duck.  I also can’t seem to let go of that fake Burberry scarf.

Anywho, I am headed to Denver to check in with Paul Kim, Alissa Weller, and Jade Sun.  My three best friends besides PTAK.  No one can even imagine how excited I am.  I never laugh as much as I do with these guys and I know the laughs will continue.  We will probably spend a whole day reenacting old events where we make fun of people til they cry.  I can’t wait!  

Also, a quick shout out to the best looking guy in the world!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA J!!  Those are my grandparents on their 50th anniversary.  My brother keeps this photo above his bed.  It’s also one of my favorites. 

Well, see ya suckers later!!

“The Illuminati (plural of Latin illuminatus, “enlightened”) is a name given to several groups, both real (historical) and fictitious. Historically the name refers to the Bavarian Illuminati, an Enlightenment-era secret society founded on May 1, 1776. In more modern contexts the name refers to a purported conspiratorial organization which is alleged to mastermind events and control world affairs through governments and corporations to establish a New World Order. In this context the Illuminati are usually represented as a modern version or continuation of the Bavarian Illuminati.”  (Wikepedia)

Do I believe in the illuminati? I don’t really know, but if it does exist everyone in my neighborhood is a part of it…  And so is Jay Z.  I think we can all agree on that one.  

So since I only have a few months left at work and since I am pretty sure they are all in the Illuminati also I have been doing some pretty outlandish things:

1.  I used the last toilet paper square in the restroom and instead of replacing it I wrote a note on the bathroom door that said “Dear Janitor, please replace the toilet paper!”  I don’t even think we have a janitor. 

2.  My lunch exploded in the micro and I just left it there for the next person.

3. I recently received a text message that said “if you believe in God send this to twenty people and if you believe in the devil ignore this message.”  I forwarded the message to the entire phone list at work.  

4.  I’ve been eating everyones take out boxes that they forget on the table.  When they come back for them I tell them “sorry, the roaches must of got there first”.

5.  I got an annoying email from a distant cousin that said “forward this email to 25 people if you want good luck for the next seven years.”  I forwarded it to the entire email list at work. Including  my boss.

6.  I’ve been eating a handful of french fries off guest’ plates and when I drop off their food i’m still chewing.  

7.  I hung a homemade vote Mitt Romney campaign poster in the break room.

8.  When someone tried to correct my performance I immediately blamed someone else.  It felt really good.

I guess I should of been a teacher like everyone else. Then I could of taken a picture of my badge and put it on facebook.  

Spending the 4th in Oregon was total culture shock for me.  People actually light off fireworks in their backyards here.  There is this one firework that makes a really high pitched dog whistle sound and when you hear it go off everyone yells “Piccolo Pete!”  From what I gathered that is actually the name of the firework and thats why people yell that.  In Arizona on the 4th, all of us neighbor kids would sit at the end of my driveway and we would light my moms really expensive scented candles and slowly watch them burn.  I’m now 25 and feel like I have finally lived to see a real fourth of July.  

Speaking of high pitched dog whistles…

Do you guys remember when Jesse Bradford first debuted as a whistle blower? Yeah I attended that premiere when I was like 12.

Speaking of movie premieres…  I went and saw the new Woody last night.

Classic Woody.  That guy can pump out a fresh movie each year.  I don’t know how he does it.  I found it neat that it was shot in Rome.  He is starting to do the international thing which is really refreshing.  

Okay, time for a few shout outs which I rarely do but today is special for a few reasons:

1.  It’s my Dad’s birthday!  Happy B-day father! (pictured to the right)

2.  My brother is coming to town tomorrow! (pictured in the center)

3.  Oh and Matthew Miller has HeyTell.  (pictured on left)

If you have an iphone but don’t have HeyTell you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

You can basically talk to someone instantly and audibly in real time.  How does that differ from a phone you ask?  I actually don’t really know, but trust me it’s way cooler.  

I’ll let you chew on that for awhile and leave you with the word of the day.

Foreplay-(def) A golf game consisting of mostly amateurs.

I somehow stumbled upon free tickets to Wu tang.  Literally just Wu Tang, the rest of the clan couldn’t make it.  I actually know nothing about this clan as I’m sure you can tell, but I am pretty stoked to spend some time with Mr. Tang this evening.  I now have evenings free so I have gotten a little bit more crazy lately… for example:

1.  I have gone to bed after midnight twice this week.

2.  I am gonna see the black guy from the Wu Tang in concert.

3.  I’ve been playing trivial pursuit online. 

4.  I bought a snuggie.

5.  I scammed the Blockbuster system and got two free movies.

One of those movies starred Will Ferrell.

I loved this movie.  Usually I can’t take Will Ferrell because he annoys me, but he kept his shirt on the whole time and barely opened his mouth.  This movie was like watching water drip.  My favorite role of his by far.  It even beat “Stranger than Fiction.” 

Speaking of fiction,  I went to a coffee shop today that had a typewriter inside for anyone to write on.  So bizarre but kind of neat.  I typed three letters on it p  q  r.  Then I stopped because I felt like I was on stage.  Anyway, I recommend everyone rent “Everything Must Go”.  Rent two movies and use the promo code SPRINGMOVIES.  There you go, your movies are on me.  Kind of. 

I’ll be sure to let everyone know how the concert goes.  Peace.

I have already watched all three Home Alone’s. I don’t waste time on the fourth.  It went straight to DVD.  I know most of you don’t even waste your time on the third, but I am emotionally tied to it and I love John Hughes. 

Home Alone Phrase of the day: Silver Tuna.  Def: Meaning better than all the rest; the prize. 

Example:

 Oh how I love thee Home Alone’s.  Such a good moral message in each one.  In honor of Black Friday I had to watch:

This movie gets me pumped and ready to pepper spray when Black Friday comes around.  

I had originally written a whole Christmas blog about how everyone is forced to worship around the holidays whether they want to or not, but then I had to delete it because I had to go to work.  I didn’t know I had to work that day, I was taken off guard. I didn’t really have the energy to re-write it because it was kind of a one time thing full of emotions and sincerity.  So now you get this.  The movies I have seen so far and a list of my favorite Christmas albums.  

Not in any order.

1.  Christmas to Remember- Amy Grant

2.  Hanson- Snowed In

3. Barenaked for the Holidays- Barenaked Ladies

4.  Wintersong- Sarah McClachlan

5.  Songs for Christmas- Sufjan Stevens

6.  The O.C. Mix Three- The O.C. Soundtrack

7.  Christmas Collection- The Carpenters

8.  Merry Muffin- Various Artists

9.  The Hotel Cafe Presents- Various Artists

10.  If Bon Iver had a Chrismtas Album I’m sure I would be obsessed.

Most Hated Christmas Song:  Santa Baby.

I find it hard to relate to.  However, I am open to different versions that I don’t know about and maybe might like.  So if you know one, hit me up.  

Well time for a figgy pudding!

Last weekend I had the best visit of my life from one of my besties/brother’s lover, and when I say lover take it with a grain of salt.

Anywho, the three musketeers went wine tasting all over the place.

The above picture was us in Vegas awhile back.  We didn’t take any wine tasting pictures because we aren’t camera people. We are still looking for a fourth musketeer with a camera or an iphone.  That’s the only way we will let them in.

Yeah it was so fun to be back with good friends.  Something I have been craving for awhile now.  

My job is getting grosser by the minute.  Somedays I love it and other days I want to light a match and burn that motha down!  Is that normal?  Is it possible to have a job that you love completely.  I have no idea, but I think so.  I know I was created to do ministry and I am completely ignoring my calling but that will all change soon.  

Christmas is here. Timing is here. Bring a good friend.  Christmas is Here. (Sung to the tune of carol of the Bells)

I’m weird.  As Christmas approaches I am craving a holiday party like no other.  I might even throw my own.  THERE IS NOTHING I LOVE MORE THAN A GOOD CHRISTMAS PARTY WERE YOU GET DRESSED UP!  Seriously.  I also love gift exchanges especially when it is spelled X-mas gift X-change.  I find it to be original and neat.

Phrase of the Day:  ”Burning the candle at both ends.” I used to think it meant being really sick and going to the bathroom out of both ends but it actually means working hard and playing hard too.  You run out of wax.  I learned this when a lady in my journaling group said it to me when I told her I was sick.  

Well, time for white rice and homemade sushi compliments of the whoofers.